Eindrücke unserer Reise in mein Heimatland Südafrika.
Read MoreSÜDAFRIKAREISE
VON FELSEN, (WARTE)SCHLANGEN UND VERBORGENEN WELTEN.
Auf Deutsch.
An Attempt at the Autumnal Garden
Musings and meanderings concerning autumn.
Written in English.
An Attempt at the Autumnal Garden
The spectacle of autumn is overwhelming in its urgency and intensity, pushing me to sculpt words around experiences - although I know how every attempt to render that deep, tearing honey-sweet pain of autumn into text will always feel insufficient.
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My Otherbirthday
Today I am celebrating my tenth otherbirthday. A day that’s been a silent private celebration up to now. It’s probably more important than my conception or my actual birthday, when I came into being, because out of this experience I am beginning to extract my purpose.
Written in English.
My Otherbirthday
To say that those initial six months changed me is a gross understatement. The experience distilled my life in an instant, it filtered out a lot of bullshit. It is the single best thing that has ever happened to me in my life so far.
I think for my tenth anniversary it’s worth delving into the details of what this experience brought to life, got rid of, and how it has shaped my life for the better. Here are some of the thoughts I became aware of, as I dug deeper, and some of the learnings I took from it.
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One Red Flower
Today, on an extended walk meandering through the streets of Friedrichshain in Berlin, I found a neglected, forgotten graveyard - weathered, skew headstones and completely overgrown with tree saplings and ivy. There, probably planted long ago and deciding to thrive now and here, was a bright red tulip. Solitary, blooming for nothing and no-one in particular. Just by herself. Strong and straight and true, doing her tulippy tulip thing quite formidably.
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A magnolia tree, ancient walls, and a decorative Baroque bell tower.
Finding Solitary Safe Spaces
I’ve chanced upon another safe space for my treasury. I collect them like other people collect film posters from the nineties or vintage toy cars. As far back as I remember, I’ve always had these safe spaces; as a child, they were small and cave-like, or up on my favourite climbing tree.
Read MoreAn interview: Diving into infinite imaginary worlds
Poetic Fantasy on Lost Gardens and Being Human
I miss my garden.
The last garden I had was back in 2032, that narrow walled garden at the back of our apartment. I remember walking barefoot down the stone steps, I remember birds hidden behind layers of foliage, and the taste of early summer radishes. I miss being separate but still part of the world in that tranquil microcosm.
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Botanical explosions on our kitchen table.
Times of Corona
For my own sanity, I’m attempting to pick the positive details out of this situation, and I’d like to share a few of my thoughts with you today. This crisis, with all its threatening fear and floundering insecurity, is also a sort of retreat, a detox from the daily input overload and stress out there.
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My first Pomegranate Fantasy brooch, an enamelled ode to Persephone, to summer, to colour, and to Eros in its multitude of meanings. An antidote to dying.
The Pomegranate
The pomegranate is a treasury of symbolism: it is not only emblematic of passion, sensuality and sexual love, but also speaks of a very powerful and perhaps threatening knowledge: a liberating sense of sexual self-reflection and confidence, the very opposite of innocence.
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When your way is blocked, suddenly, and you find yourself in a puddle of broken expectations. Photograph by Nora Kovats. Corridor flanking the courtyard at Hildesheim’s oldest cathedral.
Thoughts on Disappointment
So I’ve been thinking about disappointment all week. What exactly is this disappointment thing? How can we define it? It’s painful, yes, it has a lot to do with expectations that could not be met, but it’s not anger, it’s not really shame or guilt either. It’s sort of a hollow feeling, a space that would have held something glorious and sparkling and hopeful, and that is now empty.
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